Seven days to launch and it was a mixed emotions day.
No matter how much mental preparation, I wasn’t prepared for the roller coaster I strapped myself to today.
Last night, we received word that the apartment will be ready for us when we arrive in Oregon. So that was a relief to know we have a landing zone. First thing this morning, after I shook the sleep off, I came to the realization that today was a day I had not planned for in the move. I woke up around 3 am tossing and turning.
Today, I was letting go of the work I had diligently dedicated myself to over the last 2.5 years…and hand it over to my replacement (who I helped choose). The words “I’m leaving” carried no weight 26 days ago. Zero.
Work isn’t just work. It’s relationships…some tough…some easy…but all beneficial in their own right. It wasn’t until several years ago that I realized some relationships are worth having and fighting for. As a 42 year old male, I’m just coming to the realization that some are worth working through and compromising on differences. When I left my previous job, it was a little easier because I had been there for so long and realized nothing was going to change….this time I went in out of my element. I never worked with this demographic before and knew it was wayyyy out of my wheelhouse, but I brought something to the table they needed severely. And hey if I could inject some life and mix it up a bit(in a good way) in addition, then I’d be happy.
A call came in from Ginger at 12:00…”guess what? Clean bill of health…the house is officially sold”. It’s over. The stress of the home sale….gone. A brief celebration.
Very brief….there were constant reminders all day. “You’re saying goodbye to these people today”.
Little things…my friend outside my door turning her head at me everytime I’d say “curse you” when she’d sneeze…just a little joke since she is always blessed. Standing at a dear friend’s desk right next to the one I had just cursed, and trying to catch one more glimpse of that “kid at heart” smile of hers…while playing off that I was moving 2K miles away. Going to lunch with a great group of people and one of them leaving early and her apologizing to me for doing so for personal reasons…(deep down wishing she was comfortable enough with me to understand there was no explanation required and no offense was had). My two minion trouble makers laughing and giggling. I know the firm will be in good hands with those two, because they will take over my role wreaking havoc and stirring the pot. No. Stirring the paint can…you know when paint gets separated and that thick layer is on the bottom? They’re the ones trying desperately to dislodge the stick out of the paint can’s ass. It’s up there pretty good fellas….be sure to keep trying. Of course the ones that gave me the shot at the firm. For seeing something of value in my personality. They knew nothing of technology and had to take my word that I could do the job. The appreciation they showed me was far superior to any I had ever received before.
I tried to slow the day down, somehow trying to hold on to those friends I worked so hard to earn.
By FAR….leaving this group of people I had grown fond of over the last few years was going to be the most difficult mental challenge of the move thus far. I thought: “You’re going to have to say goodbye to them today. Yep…so hot shot, big shit…what are you going to say to them?”
What do you say? All bets are off at this point…short of saying (as several of us quoted “Half-Baked”) “F-You, F-You, F-you, You’re cool, F-You”….What do you say? Well speak your heart and if they understand you, then it was probably okay. There was never enough time to speak my heart…it’s too chatty and has tendencies to ramble….never getting to the point. Just like now.
I truly hope our paths will cross again….screw that….I don’t need a cliche’ to speak from the heart. ugghhhh another cliche’ okay dumbass get to it.
Please accept this open invitation to see, call, or write me ANY time you’re thinking of our time together. I will make time, in turn, for our friendship’s sake. Let me start, “Hey, how’s EVERYTHING in your life?”.